... ..fuck a duck ....December 15, 2007   It seems that Edmund Muscovy is a female. I called Duck Busters run by my dear and childhood friend, Brian.  In describing Edmund, I told Brian about the back of the duck's neck which is marred by a raw, featherless patch. ( I should add that this patch is Edmund's most attractive feature).  According to Brian, this wound is a "love patch."  When these creatures breed, the male bites the back of the female's neck with such ardor that the female is left with a raw, featherless patch.   You may have seen such markings on groupies of the 1980s Hair Bands.  I also learned that other ducks will have nothing to do with Muscovies because they're so ugly.  I'd like to tell you Edmund makes up for it with brains or a "great personality" but, alas, such is not the case.  Edmund is dumb and dull.  She's also slow afoot, a webbed-foot. Brian speculates that Edmund is pregnant and that the father was a Muscovy wearing beer-goggles.  Like 93% of all such men, he is nowhere to be found and you can bet he will not be "sending home the millet" when the babies are born. This is a tragedy, albeit a common one.  Oh, and I've renamed the bird Edwina, after my maternal grandmother.  previous..|..current..|..archives..|..4th quarter index..|..next

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