... ..the last cocktail weenie ....September 21, 2005   My capacity to amaze myself never ceases to amaze me.  Only three weeks ago, Hurricane Katrina destroyed lives and ravaged a city.  But here I am, only days away from Rita's landfall, and I've done nothing to prepare for disaster except hope the hurricane hits Texas.  A week from now, when Anderson Cooper interviews my bloated corpse floating in the bayou floodwaters, what will I say? AC:  How did you prepare for Hurricane Rita? Bloated Corpse:  I sat on a rocker from Pier One's "Dry Tortugas Collection" and sipped Pom and soda while pondering mouse bait." AC:  Mouse bait? BC:  I was wondering when peanut butter replaced cheese as the bait-of-choice.  It seemed to happen suddenly and with little fanfare, don't you think? AC:  Why didn't you learn any lessons from Katrina?  Why did you spend the days leading up to Rita watching Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley hawk fitness equipment you knew you'd never buy and, if bought, would never use? BC:  Gimme a break, Anderson.  I'm dead here. I feel like the last cocktail weenie.  I was never particularly good, but now I'm cold and congealed.  And I'm just waiting for the hostess to turn out the lights. previous..|..current..|..archives..|..3d quarter index..|..next

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