... ..to mock a killed dog ....February 4, 2004   I had heard every dog has its day, but I assumed I missed mine while I was tied to a tree in the backyard, preoccupied with licking my own balls.  But I was wrong.  My day just hadn't come, at least not until today. Today I participated in the mediation of a lawsuit.  I represented the employer of a woman who suffered a disabling sprain to her beehive hairdo.  The medical bills were substantial, especially those of the treating cosmetologist.  We contended no accident occurred and the plaintiff suffered from Congenital Bad Hair Syndrome (CBHS).  Our investigator had discovered her yearbook photographs from junior high and, aside from the acne and cat-eye glasses, our expert discerned no difference in her "post-accident" appearance. One cannot tell a book by its cover, especially when that cover has adult acne and wears cat-eye glasses.  Before the plaintiff spoke, I assumed she was not only a fraud, but a stupid, myopic fraud with self-esteem as bad as her hair.  But when she addressed me upon completion of my opening statement, I realized I had misjudged her. "If ever the movie To Kill A Mockingbird is remade," she said, "you should be cast as Atticus Finch.  You look and sound like Gregory Peck and you conduct yourself as Atticus would.  I'm not just saying that either.  I really mean it." Clearly, this is an acutely sensitive, highly intelligent woman.  And the more I look at her, the better I appreciate her unique beauty.  A person like this is incapable of lying for profit.  Besides, sprained beehives hurt worse than fractured ones! And so it was that the case settled and a dog had its day, even if it was a rabid dog shot dead in the street.  previous..|..current..|..archives..|..1st quarter index..|..next

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