... ..the greatest generation ....January 18, 2004   I live in a house built seventy years ago.  The Greatest Generation had few conveniences and those they had, like radios the size of Volkswagens, were powered primarily by hamsters in exercise wheels.  This accounts for the fact that I have about two electrical outlets in the entire two bedroom, two bathroom house.  There was a time in my life when this dearth of outlets would have driven me to drink.  In fairness to the Greatest Generation, there was a time when ring-around-the-collar drove me to drink.  But that was then and this is now.  Now the scarcity of electrical outlets is not even an annoyance, much less a catastrophe.  It's a challenge, that's all.  And if there's one area in which I excel, it's the Facing Challenges and Overcoming Obstacles area. The Pause-N-Pour feature of my automatic coffee maker is on the blink.  This doesn't bother me; no, I treat the wait as I would foreplay, a five minute build up to the money-shot.  While I wait, my eyes fix upon the outlet over my kitchen counter.  The tangle of cords and wires looks like a poorly crafted bird's nest or a Jackson Pollack painting.  On reflection, it looks like a Jackson Pollack painting of a poorly crafted bird's nest.  It's amazing how many multi-plug gizmos one can Lego together to distribute electricity to dozens of appliances.  From one outlet I can toast bread, microwave bacon, brew coffee, refrigerate juice, fry eggs, wash and dry laundry, grind coffee beans, and operate several Ronco products, including the food dehydrator.  The story's the same in my bedroom.  Using an intricate grid of extension cords and outlet adaptors, I'm able to wake up to music, watch television, play a video cassette or DVD, read by lamp light, and shave with three floating heads.  That you thought I'd inject a vibrator reference proves we are not the greatest generation. previous..|..current..|..archives..|..1st quarter index..|..next

©  2004 by the beastmaster