| December
14, 2003
jingle
blend
Scanning
the newspaper this morning, I ran across an article on "blended" families.
When I was young, only the scotch was blended. Now, one in three
Americans will sit down to Christmas dinner with a stepparent, steppchild,
or stepsibling. There are also stepcousins, stepnephews, sugardaddies,
halfwits, pimps-in-law, and adopted gerbils. The combinations are
endless.
Only
one in ten blended families is actually blended. The rest are colloids,
suspensions, and the odd emulsion. According to family experts, these
mixes often foster buried animosities and unresolved feelings, feelings
that bubble to the surface during the holiday season. For example,
when you don't recognize the person sleeping in your trundle bed, or the
mailman is inexplicably spinning your dreidel, anxiety can result.
But with forethought, creativity, and a printed program listing the heights,
weights, and hometowns of its members, a blended family can enjoy pleasant
and enriching holiday celebrations. Here are some tips:
-
Be flexible.
If your wife's ex-husband has married your daughter, don't be surprised
when he bogarts the nog and suggests a threesome. Go with theflow
even when you realize you're not included.
-
Minimize
conflict. Children in blended families adjust better when adults
are pleasant. Do not change the lyrics of the carols you sing.
"O Christmas Tree" should not be sung as "O Demon Seed."
-
Encourage
and assist the child in acknowledging the other parent. First make
certain you recognize the other parent. A mistake will only
reinforce the child's insecurity.
-
Focus on
having fun, even if it means spending all your waking hours at the corner
bar.
-
Lower expectations.
Begin the lowering process New Year's Day. By Christmas, anything
short of a mass suicide pact will be interpreted as success.
-
Finally,
plan ahead. Unblend now. Invest in a family-sized centrifuge,
if you must. But unblend, before it's too late.
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