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November 10, 2002 naked studs and beavers Something gnawed a hole through a wall in my kitchen.  I tried covering the hole, but the wall-dweller either eats the covering or enlarges the hole.  The wall has been reduced to naked studs. I told my landlady I suspect beavers.  She said I'm overreacting.  I want to eradicate the creature, but my landlady is vegetarian and doesn't want me to kill it.  I wish my kitchen was being destroyed by a cunning rutabaga.  At least then I'd stand a fighting chance.  As it is, my defense is limited to a humane trap. The trap I have is more than humane.  It is a hospitality suite.  The creature visits when I'm asleep, eats his fill, and leaves the trap the way he entered.  This morning, not only was the food gone, but I found in the cage a party hat and cigarette butts. In a matter of weeks, my home will be rubble and I will be bones.  Until then, I have a job to do.  A job that requires parsley sprigs and pillow mints.

©  2002 by the beastmaster