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October 19, 2002 like mongrels Local media covered a Ku Klux Klan rally held the other day in a town 30 miles east of here.  I was outraged, of course, but not by their inflammatory speech.  These guys can't string two sentences together, at least not without using "mongrel" the way teenagers use "like." Teen: "Man, I, like, saw The Butt Plugz in concert last night.  They, like, kicked ass." Kleagle:  "This country was founded by the white race for the white race.  The Jews and mongrels work in concert.  Let's kick their mongrel asses, shall we?" Okay, maybe it's not exactly the same, but you get the idea.  Their rhetoric is more silly than scary.  No, I was outraged by the sad state of the Klan's uniforms. Nobody gets to wear the full hood anymore because the legislature passed some ill-conceived statute prohibiting "facial concealment while using the word 'mongrel.'"  Why is that law ill-conceived, you ask?  If you've ever seen the mugs of these bloated, gingival specimens of Aryan perfection, you wouldn't ask that question.  The law should permit them, nay, require them to cover their faces. Aside from the open-faced hood problem, where is the uniformity in the Klan's uniform?  Most fellows still wear the traditional white sheets, but others sport a black ensemble.  I even saw a green number.  What's next?  Tattersall?  To make matters worse, there seems to be no rhyme or reason behind their stripes, merit badges, patches, and insignia.  Those come in a variety of shapes and colors including, I believe, pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers.  And they sew them on anywhere they damn well please.  How can one properly fear a group of such sartorial diversity?  I won't even start on the complete lack of under-sheet trouser regulations.  At the local shindig, I saw Klan legs wearing everything from jeans to Sansabelt slacks to Bermuda shorts! The Klan is, like, worse than mongrels.

©  2002 by the beastmaster