| September
22, 2002
tropical
depression
I listened
to the radio as I drove. I heard this weather bulletin:
Hurricane
Isidore made landfall at the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico today. The
Category 3 hurricane was packing 125 mph winds and a hard-on for Mexicans.
Early reports indicate Isidore consumed enormous quantities of tequila
and trashed the place. Specially-equipped airplanes from the
National Weather Service flew into Isidore's eye to collect data and to
perform a battery of tests, including one for nystagmus. Isidore
flunked the field-sobriety test and, by early evening, he'll begin slurring
his speech.
Expect
Hurricane Isidore to think he's witty and charming by midnight. He
will move back over water by morning and begin to weave erratically all
over the Gulf of Mexico. As the storm gathers strength, you should
see him act as though he's invisible. Tomorrow, Isidore will be upgraded
to Category 4, characterized by high winds and an extremely bloodshot eye.
Isidore should convince himself that the beautiful, toothless tropical
storm lurking behind the Caymans is, in fact, gorgeous and horny.
We anticipate Isidore will take her home to get blown by sustained winds
of 140 mph. Then he'll lose strength. By daybreak, look for
Isidore to realize his mistake and, by nightfall, he will become downgraded
to a Tropical Depression.
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