| July
29, 2002
fit the
bill
On occasion,
I visit the "Personals" section of the MSN home page and type in my zip
code to check out the crop of desperate women within a sixty mile radius.
Up pop photos of unusually rank cyber-skanks with tag lines that tell shit-out-of-luck
men what the women are "seeking" and what the guys are missing. All
of it is a lie, of course. The women are not looking for "a friend
to count on" anymore than they are looking for the clap. Women already
know men don't meet the "reliable friend" qualifications. These women
are looking for sugar-daddies. S-U-G-A-R. As for what we're
missing, we are missing needy hose-beasts who conceal weeney-shrinking
physical deformities and hypertrophic mental scarring.
But I
admit intrigue with one nearby gal who is "looking for a regular guy" and
who claims to be "unique beyond [my] imagination." My bowels move
like a Swiss watch and my imagination is infinite. I fit the bill. |