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April 25, 2002 on four I pause at the passing of my fourth year without drink. I have felt caged heat turn to nervous anger; anger to burning restlessness; restlessness to blinding resignation; and resignation to hollow exhaustion.  I am bored and fascinated by The Beast which numbs and stimulates, smothers and releases.  I want to acknowledge it.  I want to ignore it.

©  2002 by the beastmaster