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December 12, 2001 doing something A lot of good has come from the WTC attack.  First, we have someone to hate and I think we can all agree that mass hatred is fulfilling.  Second, I am finally able to say "Jalalabad" without giggling. Of course, not all sequellae of the attack are salutary.  Take, for example, the increasing demands to "put God back in our schools."  I read this in the newspaper almost every day.  Would someone please explain to me how punishing God will prevent future terrorism?  Won't that piss Him off? And there are other unanswered questions like:  When did He leave school?  What grade was He in when He left?  Was He expelled and, if so, what was His infraction?  If He was booted out for, say, huffing glue in Art class, what kind of signal will we send to our children if we put Him back in school?  Should we extend preferential treatment to ALL deities or just the One True God?  Can you imagine Vishnu at wide receiver?  If He is all-knowing and we put Him back in school, Won't it skew the grading curve? And suppose He doesn't want to go back to school.  For all we know, He's wearing a leather jacket, cruising the strip, and scoring some major poon-tang.  If you want to punish somebody supernatural, why not Satan?  Why aren't we seeing letters to the editor screaming "Let's Put Beelzebub Back In Our Schools!"  Let's stifle that motherfucker's creativity and force his fork-tailed ass to memorize "The Raven."  Let's give that devilish sonofabitch a pop quiz and some scarring acne.  Then we'd be doing something. Yeah, then we'd be doing something.

©  2001 by the beastmaster