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November 13, 2001 leftovers I attended a football game this past weekend.  The dork who sings that godawful "I'm Proud To Be An American....  God Bless The USA" song was the guest-dork for homecoming.  Lee Greenwood is not just proud to be an American, he's goddam ecstatic over it.  Where else but America can a no-talent, washed-up redneck like Lee rise from the musical shit-heap and be paid millions simply because some deranged assholes are trying to kill us?  And sweet Jesus, it wasn't bad enough he had to sing his signature song; he also sang the National Anthem and the Pledge Of Allegiance.  For a minute there, I thought he was going to croon the Missouri Compromise. Meanwhile, I'm learning to cook.  Yesterday, I prepared a dish I call Eggs Benedict Arnold.  It betrays you ten minutes after you've eaten it and you throw up.  Tonight, I cooked a pot of rice for the first time in my life.  Why do people on television make rice-cooking sound like atom-splitting?  It isn't difficult. And here's the exciting thing: I'm accumulating my very own leftovers.

©  2001 by the beastmaster